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Secrets
Jan 14, 2012 16:31:52 GMT -5
Post by Jess on Jan 14, 2012 16:31:52 GMT -5
Amberly Luciana Damon, her name swam around in the fog in Dimitri's mind. It was, undoubtedly, the most beautiful name he had ever heard. He smiled when she said she liked to sketch. "You're an artist? I'd love to see some of your sketches or watch you some time..." he told her. Dimitri had always found artistic girls attractive, and he had always loved to watch them work.
"Well," Dimitri started, unsure what he was supposed to say. "My name is Dimitri Nikolayevich Krylov. I'm fifteen," he felt like he was in first grade again, doing silly little ice breakers on the first day of school. He was never good at talking about himself. "My dad, Nikolay, wants me to become a Dauntless leader, but I want to be a tattoo artist. Right after my Choosing Ceremony I'm starting an apprenticeship with Ali, who's the best artist you'll ever meet..." Dimitri trailed off there, thinking about his Ceremony again. Would he be staying in Dauntless after all, even if it meant losing Amberly?
Dimitri shook his head, clearing the thoughts of the future from his mind. "I like storms, heights, snow, and you." He kissed her, unable to resist for a moment longer. When he pulled away, he smiled. "Your turn."
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Secrets
Jan 14, 2012 17:07:19 GMT -5
Post by Admin Courtney on Jan 14, 2012 17:07:19 GMT -5
Amberly had always been self-concious about showing other people her sketches, but never more than she felt now. She was nervous; would Dimitri like her art? What if she sucked and her parents and Tyler had just told her that her sketches were good to be nice? Would Dimitri pretend too? Or would he tell her that she was horrible? Questions like the latter ran through her mind and she nearly forgot to reply to him. "Oh," she said, her nerves becoming obvious. "Okay. I mean, if you want. They might not be that good. I just draw for fun. Watching me would probably be boring. I just sit there," she explained, ignoring how insecure she felt.
When he began to tell her about himself, a big smile erupted on Amberly's face. She absolutely adored his name. It certainly was different from most names that she heard. She had already guessed his age (he was not in any of her classes, and if he was any older, he wouldn't be at school), but it was nice for it to be confirmed. "So you're an artist too, then," she commented. Tattooing was a different kind of art than what you saw around Amity, but it was an art all the same. When he spoke about his choosing ceremony, Amberly's heart sunk a little bit. So he was going to choose Dauntless. And become a tattoo artist. And where will Amberly be? In Amity. She doubted she could pass the Dauntless initiation. She'd fail and become factionless if she tried. Stop thinking about that, she told herself, as it was only bringing her down. She couldn't think of a solution, but she knew there had to be one, somewhere. There just had to be.
She blushed majorly when he said aloud that he liked her. Of course she had already suspected, but hearing it was an entirely different thing. A different feeling. She grinned as he kissed her, moving closer to him, and was still smiling when he pulled away.
"Well," she said happily. "I like you, also," she told him, feeling giddy after saying it aloud. "And I like to wear dresses or skirts. Even in winter, I'm hardly in pants," she admitted. "I know it's girly, but.. that's me," she said with a shrug. "I like the colours of Amity," she continued. "My family is mostly from Amity, but I have an uncle in Candor, and some of us have chosen other factions, but I don't know them. I don't know if I'm such a storm fan," she admitted, looking up at Dimitri. "They're kind of cool to watch from far away, but the angry, closer ones... They're not as fun. There was a tornado once," she told him. "That ripped through some Amity fields. Ruined a bunch of crops. So those types of storms -- the ones that hurt people..." she shook her head, but smiled. "But I like rain. And the sun." She stopped talking, feeling like she was saying such random things. Talking about herself so much felt weird, and she didn't know what else to share. An idea came to mind, however, and she quickly added: "I also like when you kiss me." She then ducked her head, unable to believe she had said that out loud. She was usually so shy.
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Secrets
Jan 14, 2012 17:35:54 GMT -5
Post by Jess on Jan 14, 2012 17:35:54 GMT -5
Dimitri frowned. "You don't have to show me if you don't want to," he assured her. "I don't want you to feel like you have to." The last thing he wanted to do was force her to show him. There would be nothing special about that. As much as he wanted to see her work, Dimitri could see where he was coming from. Back when his art was just for him, he was nervous about showing others, too. When he became set on being a tattoo artist, however, he knew everyone would see his work, and grew comfortable with that fact.
She has the most perfect smile in the world, Dimitri thought as one spread across Amberly's face. He liked knowing that this smile was all for him, to tuck inside him and keep forever. he liked that no one else would ever see this exact smile. "Funny name, I know. Russian," he told her. "And yeah, I guess I am. It's really one of the only kinds of art you see around Dauntless. Music, tattoos and body piercings. Other than that people don't really make much art. A few do, but it's not that common," he shrugged.
"Something wrong?" Dimitri asked when Amberly's face fell. He wondered what he had said that upset her, wracking his brain to find something.
When Amberly said she liked him, Dimitri swore he was floating. As emasculating as that was, it was true. He tried hard to conceal his smile. "I like what you wear," he told her. "Bright colors and all." He stopped to listen when she talked about storms, nodding his head slowly. "You seem like more of a spring rain person, actually. You know-- that rain where it's still sunny out and the light reflects off the water and everything looks like it's on fire? That's you," he told her, wondering if she thought he sounded stupid.
"What a coincidence," Dimitri smiled, "I like kissing you." That's an understatement, Dimitri thought as he took her face in his hands and kissed her. I love kissing you, and I don't think I could live without kissing you.
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Secrets
Jan 14, 2012 18:12:47 GMT -5
Post by Admin Courtney on Jan 14, 2012 18:12:47 GMT -5
"I don't have to," Amberly agreed. "But I want to," she decided. She would like him to see her sketches. If he did like them, it would mean a lot to her. She knew she was not the most amazing artist out there, but she also knew that she wasn't horrible. It was time to stop letting doubts get in her way. And to stop allowing her insecurities to control her life.
"It's not funny," Amberly disagreed. "It's... beautiful. And it suits you. I like how you say it," she told him, wanting to say his full name, but not wanting to butcher it. "Russian... I remember learning about other countries in my ancestral world geopgraphy class. It was one of the biggest countries, right? Russia?" She was more asking for confirmation, as she knew he had never been there. No one ever left the factions. No one knew what was out there anymore. "I think art is beautiful, no matter what form it comes in. Paintings, body art, written word... It's all a form of art in its own perspective, isn't it?" She smiled softly; she appreciated all forms of art, even if she did not practise them all. She rarely wrote poems, unless hit with sudden inspiration; she was timid around needles (but held still for her shots because it was important for her health); but she drew a lot, and sometimes painted. "The tattoos that you have," she began to ask. "Did you do any of them? Or did... what was the name? Ali?"
When asked if something was wrong, Amberly looked Dimitri straight in the eyes, and lied. "No, everything's great," she smiled. It wasn't that she wanted to lie; she just didn't want to ruin this time spent with him with talk about their futures after their respective Choosing Ceremonies. Also, Amberly didn't want to scare him with any talk of the future. They liked each other, yes, but who knew what the future held? She knew she wanted Dimitri. She knew she never wanted to part from him. But as to his thoughts on that, she was not sure. And they had only met today. She didn't feel any such talk was appropriate yet.
"Well, these colours were assigned to Amity," she reminded him. "But they are my favourite. So if we had a choice..." She hesitated, not liking the taste of that word in the way she was using it -- as if they government had not given them any choices. "If we got to choose what colours we wore every day, I probably wouldn't wear anything different. I like red and yellow. And pink." She smiled when Dimitri mentioned spring rain. "I love spring rain," she told him, turning pink when he compared her to it. "When the flowers are just starting to come out of the earth and bloom, and the rain hits the grass out in the fields of Amity. Everything smells so good. Even the earth." She trailed off dreamily, picturing what Dimitri had described. She missed flowers and the sun and grass, but snow had its beauty, too.
She laughed softly and her eyes fluttered closed when Dimitri kissed her again. This. This feeling right here where she felt weightless and powerful and full of happy energy. She wished she could feel that every minute or every day. She knew that with Dimitri around, she would.
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Secrets
Jan 14, 2012 22:26:20 GMT -5
Post by Jess on Jan 14, 2012 22:26:20 GMT -5
"I'm glad you want me to," Dimitri told her. "If you had said you didn't... well, I might have had to steal them," he joked. "I'm sure you're an amazing artist." He truly did believe that. Amberly was amazing, period. It only made sense that everything she created or did would be equally as amazing. He didn't see how someone as perfect as she was could create something mediocre.
Dimitri laughed. He had always hated his name. No one could pronounce Nikolayevich, let alone understand why he had such an exotic, strange name. It wasn't as though his family was even all that Russian anymore. Just his dad's side, and even they pretended to be more Russian then they were. No one was really any particular ethnicity anymore. After all, no one entered or left New Chicago. "Beautiful, right," Dimitri snorted. "But yeah... Russia was the biggest," he said simply. He didn't tell her that, as much as he mocked his families obsession with the country someone had come from what seemed like eons ago, he often dreamed of the cold, barren landscape. Of course, he had only seen it in books, but he felt drawn to it.
When Amberly told him nothing was wrong, he frowned. He could tell by her eyes that she was lying. "I don't believe you," he said simply. Dimitri wasn't going to push the fact, but he wasn't going to let her believe that she had fooled him.
"Well, those colors look beautiful on you," Dimitri smiled again. He didn't think he had ever smiled this much in his entire life. "But then again, I bet you would be absolutely stunning even in rags."
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Secrets
Jan 14, 2012 22:53:29 GMT -5
Post by Admin Courtney on Jan 14, 2012 22:53:29 GMT -5
Amberly gasped and pretended to be offended, taking a step away from him. "You would steal from me?" she said dramatically. "My own Ice Knight. How hurtful," she said, shaking her head and sniffling, pretending to cry. She couldn't help but let a smile slip through her act -- she could never be an actress.
"I'm serious," Amberly told him when he snorted at the idea of his name being beautiful. "Well, you may not like it, but I do. In the times we're in now, no one really has interesting names anymore. They're all generic, recycled, English names. And you have a really interesting, cultural one from your ancestors from another country way back when. I have to admit, I'm jealous. I'm pretty sure my family lived in Old North America generations through. It's boring," she pointed out, though it didn't bother her too much.
When he said he didn't believe her, Amberly wasn't sure how to respond. "Maybe something was bothering me, but it's not something that needs to be brought up," she confessed. "So can we drop it and just go back to it another day, maybe?" She stood on her toes and kissed his cheek, trying to distract him and avoid the tense direction their conversation could go if he pushed this.
She spun in his jacket, a mischevious glint in her eyes. "Does that mean I look good in your jacket?" she joked. "I'm kidding!" she added, not meaning any real offense towards his jacket. "This thing is so warm and looked great on you. But I like it so much I might just steal it," she grinned.
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Secrets
Jan 26, 2012 18:13:06 GMT -5
Post by Jess on Jan 26, 2012 18:13:06 GMT -5
"Alas, it was but a joke, My Queen," Dimitri smirked. "If I had known that it would have offended you, I would not have said it," he said earnestly. "My sincerest apologies, Your Highness." He kissed her forehead, closing his eyes and breathing in the scent of her shampoo.
Dimitri raised an eyebrow. "Boring? Sometimes I think that would be nice. My grandfather is obsessed with Russia, basically. I think he thinks he was actually born there, not some great great and some odd grandparents of mine. He's a nut," He laughed quietly. "Tried teaching me Russian once. It's nearly impossible to learn. Different letters. Different pronunciations," he shook his head. "He's losing it, really. Has been for as long as I remember."
When Amberly insisted on not telling him, Dimitri frowned. What could she be keeping from him already? "If you insist," he said simply, trying and failing to not let his voice fall flat. Curiosity clawed at him like a bored cat, but he wasn't going to push it further. She would tell him when she was ready.
Dimitri laughed. "It's all yours, darling. I must admit, I do like seeing you wear it," he winked.
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Secrets
Jan 26, 2012 18:53:31 GMT -5
Post by Admin Courtney on Jan 26, 2012 18:53:31 GMT -5
Yet another smile tugged at her lips when Dimitri joked, speaking with an old, formal tongue. "You are forgiven, Knight," she told him, hugging him tightly. This was closest to the best day of her life. She was glad she had come up there to the roof earlier, even if it had been Tyler who had convinced her, and thinking of Tyler made her very, very confused.
Amberly pulled back to look up at Dimitri and laughed lightly when he spoke of his grandfather trying to teach him Russian. "Different letters?" she repeated with surprise and interest. "Wow, that's amazing." She then thought how interesting it would be to learn a language, and how sad it would be if the rest of the world was lost and took foreign languages and culture with it.
She felt bad for keeping this from him, but she would tell him eventually. She just did not want to ruin the moment, and had some thinking to do. For now, she said nothing else on the subject, even though the flatness in his tone was gnawing at her.
She did a spin in his jacket as if she was a model in a fashion show, then curtsied, laughing. "Does that make it better or worse? And I'd never actually steal your jacket. But I do like wearing it. When you go home, though, you'll need to stay warm," she added, her smile ebbing away at the thought of going home. Eventually, as much as she didn't want it to, the night would end.
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Jan 26, 2012 19:12:55 GMT -5
Post by Jess on Jan 26, 2012 19:12:55 GMT -5
"I told you it was weird," Dimitri laughed. "Interesting, I guess, but weird," he shrugged. "Gave up when I was about eleven, though. He decided that I just wasn't 'Russian enough' and got all mad at my mom and her 'Americanized blood.' Caused a big fight for a month or two. Then he showed up one Sunday for dinner and that was that. Still tries teaching me Russian history, though. Sometimes I think he belongs in the world history wing of Erudite's library."
Dimitri smiled when Amberly spun, feeling slightly lightheaded. She was hypnotizing. "Are you sure? I'm quite partial to the way it looks on you," he laughed, only half joking. "I'm warm enough," he added. He felt himself become more grounded when Amberly mentioned going home. Of course, he knew he would have to sooner or later, but he would have much preferred later. He didn't want to ever leave this roof. Especially not if that meant he and Amberly had to part ways.
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Jan 26, 2012 19:29:30 GMT -5
Post by Admin Courtney on Jan 26, 2012 19:29:30 GMT -5
"Oh," Amberly said sadly, frowning at the mentioned conflict. "Well I'm glad all seems to be well now, though. Maybe he should teach some history classes about Russia. That could be interesting," she said, then wondered if the government would like that. Then again, she couldn't see of a reason why learning about the history of a different country would be an issue. "Have you ever thought of trying to learn Russian again now that you're older? I know it's easier to retain things when you're younger, but at least now you'd have more of an attention span," she pointed out.
"Dimitri, I wouldn't want to deprive you of your winter jacket," she told him, grinning. "I wouldn't say no to keeping this sweater though," she said, her voice getting softer and quieter with each word as a blush creeped up her neck and onto her cheeks. For Amberly, that was quite the bold statement. To her, keeping his sweater meant something very boyfriendly.
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Jan 26, 2012 19:51:56 GMT -5
Post by Jess on Jan 26, 2012 19:51:56 GMT -5
Dimitri considered this. "Nah, it's too un-Dauntless of him. He may be old, but he'd rather keel over before stepping foot inside a library. My dad gets his obsession with Dauntless from him, of course," he shrugged. "He's not the teaching type, really. No patience. No people skills," he explained. "And I haven't really thought about it much until today, actually. I think it would be interesting, sure, but I can't see any use in it, you know? No one speaks Russian except my grandfather and my dad, really. So it's not anything useful to me."
When Amberly asked for his sweater, Dimitri grinned like an idiot. "Of course. It's all yours," he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. "You really want it, though?" Dimitri couldn't help but laugh. "It's pretty old. And from Dauntless. Wouldn't that be a big no-no?" He didn't want her to not want his sweater-- he was just curious as to what she planned on doing with it. Run home and tell her parents she kissed a Dauntless boy she knew for only a few hours on the roof of the school-- oh, and that she skipped the last classes of the day? Right.
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Jan 26, 2012 19:59:24 GMT -5
Post by Admin Courtney on Jan 26, 2012 19:59:24 GMT -5
Amberly bit back a laugh when Dimitri explained just how Dauntless his grandfather was and that he wouldn't even step into a library willingly. It was humourous. "I suppose that's true," she agreed when he said he wouldn't have a use for the Russian language. "It would be interesting, though, to be able to speak a language no one around here could. Don't you think? Just for fun."
Dimitri's grin was contagious, and soon she couldn't stop smiling because of his reaction. "I do want it. I don't care if it's Dauntless coloured," she told him honestly. "It's yours and it would be like bringing you with me, almost." She blushed intensely again, not believing she had actually voiced that thought. How embarrassing. He would probably think she was some crazy stalker girl or something. "I mean..." She stopped talking and bit the inside of her cheek, unable to come up with a way to explain herself. "And no, I suppose I wouldn't be able to wear it around Amity. It's not red or yellow or even orange. But..." She shrugged and smiled in an almost mischevious way. "It would be a fun secret." She had never kept anything from her parents before (well, except just how close she was to Tyler), but she had no issues with keeping Dimitri a secret for now. They would only worry, and they didn't need to.
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Secrets
Jan 26, 2012 20:14:27 GMT -5
Post by Jess on Jan 26, 2012 20:14:27 GMT -5
"Maybe we could both learn it," Dimitri joked half-hardheartedly. "Or any foreign language, really. We could have whole conversations and no one would have any idea what we were saying," he laughed. It reminded him of first grade when he and his best friend had come up with their own imaginary language. Sure, they didn't really know what they were saying-- but that wasn't the point. The point was no one else did either.
Dimitri smiled more. "Have I mentioned that you are absolutely adorable?" he asked, kissing her again. He couldn't help it-- and he didn't even care. Amberly was perfect, and, for whatever reason, she wanted him. She wanted his sweater. She wanted part of him. Dimitri pressed his hand to the small of her back and drew her in closer.
It almost took Dimitri down a bit when he remembered how secretive this all had to be. He was Dauntless. She was Amity. Two completely different worlds. And his Ceremony was this year, too-- only eight months away. Jesus-- what am I going to do? he thought. He loved Dauntless. He really did. But Amberly...
Stop fucking thinking about it.
"Well, good. Because I want you to have it," Dimitri wished for half a second that they were from the same faction. Things would be easier then. They could be together and no one would care. She could wear his sweaters without anyone even batting an eye. But the thought died almost the same moment it was born. If they were from the same faction, things would be different. They wouldn't be who they were. And maybe they wouldn't be together at all.
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Secrets
Jan 26, 2012 20:41:49 GMT -5
Post by Admin Courtney on Jan 26, 2012 20:41:49 GMT -5
Amberly's eyes widened slightly. "That could actually be fun," she said to Dimitri. "It would require some work to learn it, but it would be cool to know something others didn't And to have literally private conversations that no one else could understand." It also felt childish, but Amberly believed that it was important to hold onto some child-like things as one grew up.
Amberly sighed into their next kiss. Even though they had already shared many kisses in the short time they had been in each other's company, each one felt like a whole new experience; a whole new kiss to enjoy. She felt herself blush again from when he called her adorable, and she kissed him a little harder, unsure of how to respond to that in words.
It was crazy, though, how something as simple as the colour of a sweater reminded Amberly why this was all so complicated. In less than a year everything she (and Dimitri, she was sure now) was hoping for between them could be scratched. Fall apart. Amberly wrapped her arms around Dimitri's torso and leaned her head on his chest. She couldn't think that way. It wasn't a good idea to just ignore it. But for now, for the sake of the moment they were sharing, it was best to. "Thank you," she whispered to him, hugging him tighter. She wondered if he knew how much the sweater would mean to her, no matter what happened.
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Secrets
Jan 28, 2012 13:49:18 GMT -5
Post by Jess on Jan 28, 2012 13:49:18 GMT -5
"It would be fun," Dimitri agreed."Though I would have no idea of how to go about it, to be completely honest. I suppose they would have language books in the Erudite Library. Though I've heard teaching yourself a language is tough. Especially without being able to hear it." That was an understatement. Learning a language at all was tough. Teaching yourself with a couple old books? Nearly impossible. But it could be useful...
Dimitri smiled when Amberly hugged him, her head resting on his chest. It was strange how perfect this all felt, because when you thought about it, there was so much that could go wrong so easily. There were so many challenges they would have to face. That he would have to face-- as Dimitri knew that he couldn't ask Amberly to leave her beloved Amity for him --when it came to his Ceremony in August. But somehow, that all seemed to fade away when he felt her in his arms. She was real. She was now. She was here. All of that was there, of course, but it seemed so far away. Farther than it really was.
We'll make it through, Dimitri thought to himself. And he truly believed it.
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