Post by Admin Courtney on Oct 8, 2013 18:35:45 GMT -5
"Of course I'll be there at your Choosing Ceremony, Nathaniel," Amberly had promised with a smile. She had not been to a Choosing since her own several years ago when she had chosen to stay in Amity. There was never any reason to, but for Nathaniel she would go.
Nathaniel was one of her star students. The star student, she would say, but never aloud. Nathaniel was newly sixteen and had been attending Amberly's art classes at her Inner City studio since he was thirteen. In the few short years he was there, Nathaniel had proven himself to be an amazing artist. He was Amity-born, like herself, but she knew he did not want to stay in Amity. He had not told her where his apptitude test had placed him, but if Amberly knew him well enough, she had a pretty good feeling she knew where he would transfer to.
She would be sad to see her best student go, but to him writing just was a hobby, not his life. She had found a friend in Nathaniel, despite her being four years older than the teen. He reminded her of the good times in her past, before everything went to shit. Back when she knew where she belonged. When things were complicated, but still a lot easier and filled with less regrets than they were now.
And now, Amberly was an unhappy Amity who had learned not to let her true emotions surface. That would cause unnecessary conversations and too many injections of peace serum, with which she was already familiar enough. She was not depressed, and sure, she had good memories from her life after her Choosing, but overall she knew she was missing out on something. She was not living the life she had imagined she would. It wasn't fun.
But Nathaniel was getting the chance to do what he wanted to do. And Amberly would be more than happy to witness his transfer. So she woke up bright and early on his Choosing Day to make sure she would be there to support him.
Amberly walked up the stairs into The Hub and waited in the elevator with a few other Amity faction members and some Erudites. The mixture of blues and reds and yellows made for a very colourful elevator ride up to the twentieth floor, but the Erudites kept to themselves, some looking down their noses at the Amity. Amberly ignored them, and when the elevator stopped to let them off, let everyone exit first. She took her time finding a seat in the Choosing room, eventually planting herself down in an aisle seat, not in any rush. The Ceremony would not start for a few more minutes.
When it did, she found herself tuning out of the speech given by the Abnegation official. It was the same as the one given for her Choosing, simple instructions for how the Ceremony would work. Instead she scanned the front of the Amity seats for Nathaniel. She found him easily; his blonde hair stood out against his red button-down shirt, and he was practically bouncing in his seat either in nerves or excitement. Amberly suspected it to be a mixture of both.
She did not have to wait long for Nathaniel to be called, as his surname was in the B's, and sat up straighter when he walked up to the faction bowls. His face paled when he dragged the knife across his palm, and his eyes sought out his parents as he clenched his fist over the bowl of glass. From her vantage part, Amberly did not see the blood drip onto the shards, but from the slightly slouch in Nathaniel's parents' shoulders, she knew he had Chosen Candor. As he passed her to join the group of Candors, she whispered a quick parting message to her favourite student.
She was not sure if she would ever see him again; he was unsure if he would be continuing his art classes. As long as he was happy, she would not mind. There were other students interesting in drawing and painting.
"Say hi to my cousin for me," she said as he passed, and he grinned.
"I will," Nathaniel promised quietly, and Amberly sat back in her chair, satisfied.
She had not seen Tyler for a while. She supposed he stayed in Candor most of the time, though he did visit her studio now and then. They were on good terms now, time healing their troubled past. She wished all of her past relationships could have ended with the same closure.
Dimitri...
No, she would not think about him.
But she could not help it when her eyes betrayed her and glanced towards the Dauntless seats.
Don't be stupid. Why would he be attending this Ceremony? she chided herself.
As it was, she had not seen even a glimpse of her former boyfriend since before her own Choosing. Why would she see him now, at a Choosing Ceremony that had nothing to do with him? She would not even have been there had Nathaniel not asked her to attend, for moral support. So why --
Amberly stifled a gasp and stiffened when her eyes caught sight of a Dauntless with blonde hair. Could it be...?
She forced herself to look away, but her heart hammered in her chest. She could not help but hope...
The Dauntless angled his head towards her and she felt the breath whoosh out of her. It was not him; just a middle-aged Dauntless with fire tattooed all over the left side of his face. Even through the ink she knew it was not Dimitri. Her eyes had been fooling her.
She did not even want to see him. He had not contacted her in years.
Of course, one could also argue that she had not contacted him, but what was she supposed to do? Wander the Dauntless faction hoping to run into him? She could not remember where he had lived, and he had at least known she went to school, and she never saw him there. Ever. And then her Choosing came, and she doubted she would ever see him again. It was over, she knew. It had been years.
She did not want to see him anymore. It would open up a can of worms she did not want to have to deal with.
Amberly glanced once again over at the Dauntless side of the room. She sighed quietly and stood up. She was a terrible liar, even to herself. Of course she wanted to see Dimitri. She missed him. He probably hated her, and she could not blame him, but the lack of closure in their relationship made it difficult for her to move on. The few failed dates she had gone on since her Choosing proved that. No other guy was like Dimitri. And none ever would be.
The Amity woman next to her stared up at her, whispering for Amberly to sit down.
"I can't be here right now," Amberly whispered back, trying to stop her hands from shaking. She could leave, right? Nathaniel had Chosen. That was all she had come here for. If staying meant her thoughts would dance around the topic of her ex-boyfriend, she could not - would not - subject herself to this torture any longer.
With a last glance at the Dauntless seats, she bolted for the door and into the hallway outside. Amberly made a beeline for the washrooms and turned the cold water on full blast. She ran her hands under the faucet until they were numb, and rubbed water on her forehead and the nape of her neck.
When had it become so hot in this building? she wondered as she turned the tap off.
White-knuckled, she gripped the sink and waited until her breathing slowed, repeating an Amity song under her breath to distract herself. She could not return to Amity so strung up, or she would find herself injected with peace serum again. She got way too chatty on that stuff, and while it distracted her from everything negative, she hated the crash afterward.
After a few minutes, Amberly straightened and took a deep breath. She met her reflection's gaze and plastered on a smile. Her eyes glistened slightly with the threat of tears, but she ignored them. She would be heading back to Amity separately from everyone else. The Choosing Ceremony was still going on. No one would see her tears.
With a sigh, she tucked her loose hair behind her ear, running her fingers through the rest. Amberly glanced at herself once more in the mirror and took in her Amity clothes. This was who she was. Red skirt, yellow blouse and flats, fake smile. It would have to do.
Maybe she wouldn't go back to Amity right away. She would visit her studio. She had the urge to add to her private collection of sketches - the ones never seen by customers or students. The ones that she had poured her heart and soul into. The ones that scared her with the passion she poured into them, but the ones of which she was the most proud
Amberly turned from her reflection and stepped out of the bathroom into the bright corridor, then impatiently pushed the button for the elevator down. She had to get out of there. Now.
Nathaniel was one of her star students. The star student, she would say, but never aloud. Nathaniel was newly sixteen and had been attending Amberly's art classes at her Inner City studio since he was thirteen. In the few short years he was there, Nathaniel had proven himself to be an amazing artist. He was Amity-born, like herself, but she knew he did not want to stay in Amity. He had not told her where his apptitude test had placed him, but if Amberly knew him well enough, she had a pretty good feeling she knew where he would transfer to.
She would be sad to see her best student go, but to him writing just was a hobby, not his life. She had found a friend in Nathaniel, despite her being four years older than the teen. He reminded her of the good times in her past, before everything went to shit. Back when she knew where she belonged. When things were complicated, but still a lot easier and filled with less regrets than they were now.
And now, Amberly was an unhappy Amity who had learned not to let her true emotions surface. That would cause unnecessary conversations and too many injections of peace serum, with which she was already familiar enough. She was not depressed, and sure, she had good memories from her life after her Choosing, but overall she knew she was missing out on something. She was not living the life she had imagined she would. It wasn't fun.
But Nathaniel was getting the chance to do what he wanted to do. And Amberly would be more than happy to witness his transfer. So she woke up bright and early on his Choosing Day to make sure she would be there to support him.
Amberly walked up the stairs into The Hub and waited in the elevator with a few other Amity faction members and some Erudites. The mixture of blues and reds and yellows made for a very colourful elevator ride up to the twentieth floor, but the Erudites kept to themselves, some looking down their noses at the Amity. Amberly ignored them, and when the elevator stopped to let them off, let everyone exit first. She took her time finding a seat in the Choosing room, eventually planting herself down in an aisle seat, not in any rush. The Ceremony would not start for a few more minutes.
When it did, she found herself tuning out of the speech given by the Abnegation official. It was the same as the one given for her Choosing, simple instructions for how the Ceremony would work. Instead she scanned the front of the Amity seats for Nathaniel. She found him easily; his blonde hair stood out against his red button-down shirt, and he was practically bouncing in his seat either in nerves or excitement. Amberly suspected it to be a mixture of both.
She did not have to wait long for Nathaniel to be called, as his surname was in the B's, and sat up straighter when he walked up to the faction bowls. His face paled when he dragged the knife across his palm, and his eyes sought out his parents as he clenched his fist over the bowl of glass. From her vantage part, Amberly did not see the blood drip onto the shards, but from the slightly slouch in Nathaniel's parents' shoulders, she knew he had Chosen Candor. As he passed her to join the group of Candors, she whispered a quick parting message to her favourite student.
She was not sure if she would ever see him again; he was unsure if he would be continuing his art classes. As long as he was happy, she would not mind. There were other students interesting in drawing and painting.
"Say hi to my cousin for me," she said as he passed, and he grinned.
"I will," Nathaniel promised quietly, and Amberly sat back in her chair, satisfied.
She had not seen Tyler for a while. She supposed he stayed in Candor most of the time, though he did visit her studio now and then. They were on good terms now, time healing their troubled past. She wished all of her past relationships could have ended with the same closure.
Dimitri...
No, she would not think about him.
But she could not help it when her eyes betrayed her and glanced towards the Dauntless seats.
Don't be stupid. Why would he be attending this Ceremony? she chided herself.
As it was, she had not seen even a glimpse of her former boyfriend since before her own Choosing. Why would she see him now, at a Choosing Ceremony that had nothing to do with him? She would not even have been there had Nathaniel not asked her to attend, for moral support. So why --
Amberly stifled a gasp and stiffened when her eyes caught sight of a Dauntless with blonde hair. Could it be...?
She forced herself to look away, but her heart hammered in her chest. She could not help but hope...
The Dauntless angled his head towards her and she felt the breath whoosh out of her. It was not him; just a middle-aged Dauntless with fire tattooed all over the left side of his face. Even through the ink she knew it was not Dimitri. Her eyes had been fooling her.
She did not even want to see him. He had not contacted her in years.
Of course, one could also argue that she had not contacted him, but what was she supposed to do? Wander the Dauntless faction hoping to run into him? She could not remember where he had lived, and he had at least known she went to school, and she never saw him there. Ever. And then her Choosing came, and she doubted she would ever see him again. It was over, she knew. It had been years.
She did not want to see him anymore. It would open up a can of worms she did not want to have to deal with.
Amberly glanced once again over at the Dauntless side of the room. She sighed quietly and stood up. She was a terrible liar, even to herself. Of course she wanted to see Dimitri. She missed him. He probably hated her, and she could not blame him, but the lack of closure in their relationship made it difficult for her to move on. The few failed dates she had gone on since her Choosing proved that. No other guy was like Dimitri. And none ever would be.
The Amity woman next to her stared up at her, whispering for Amberly to sit down.
"I can't be here right now," Amberly whispered back, trying to stop her hands from shaking. She could leave, right? Nathaniel had Chosen. That was all she had come here for. If staying meant her thoughts would dance around the topic of her ex-boyfriend, she could not - would not - subject herself to this torture any longer.
With a last glance at the Dauntless seats, she bolted for the door and into the hallway outside. Amberly made a beeline for the washrooms and turned the cold water on full blast. She ran her hands under the faucet until they were numb, and rubbed water on her forehead and the nape of her neck.
When had it become so hot in this building? she wondered as she turned the tap off.
White-knuckled, she gripped the sink and waited until her breathing slowed, repeating an Amity song under her breath to distract herself. She could not return to Amity so strung up, or she would find herself injected with peace serum again. She got way too chatty on that stuff, and while it distracted her from everything negative, she hated the crash afterward.
After a few minutes, Amberly straightened and took a deep breath. She met her reflection's gaze and plastered on a smile. Her eyes glistened slightly with the threat of tears, but she ignored them. She would be heading back to Amity separately from everyone else. The Choosing Ceremony was still going on. No one would see her tears.
With a sigh, she tucked her loose hair behind her ear, running her fingers through the rest. Amberly glanced at herself once more in the mirror and took in her Amity clothes. This was who she was. Red skirt, yellow blouse and flats, fake smile. It would have to do.
Maybe she wouldn't go back to Amity right away. She would visit her studio. She had the urge to add to her private collection of sketches - the ones never seen by customers or students. The ones that she had poured her heart and soul into. The ones that scared her with the passion she poured into them, but the ones of which she was the most proud
Amberly turned from her reflection and stepped out of the bathroom into the bright corridor, then impatiently pushed the button for the elevator down. She had to get out of there. Now.